it’s a rainy day here in the north. and the clouds are low and thick.
it would probably seem more dreary out were it not for the bright patch work quilt of colored trees spattered everywhere~
i can see them lining the field behind our house. all yellows and oranges and reds.
they seem lit from within and stand out especially bold against the grey october sky.
my pumpkin pie candle is burning in the kitchen..
and a comfy sweater all wrapped around me while i sit with my feet tucked up under me on the couch.
the house is finally quiet. with only the hum of the dryer turning in the background. little bits now asleep.
i keep looking out my window from where i sit watching these two squirrels~
they’re darting all over the place. busy collecting nuts it seems.
i’m sure they must be females. i can just tell by their frantic running about.
as females we kinda do that don’t we? race about trying to get everything done.
i told myself i was going to sit down and write this post when i first got home this morning after taking emma to school.
but. then it was going to be after i unloaded the dishwasher. then after i took the garbage out.
then. after i just put another load in the washer. folded the ones in the dryer.
cleaned out the sink. windexed the glass vase thingy’s on my kitchen table. organized the kids toys in the basement…!!
ha. every room i walk in seems to scream something at me to do.
i think it’s better to do than to sit. but it’s also needed, every now and then, to stop doing and just sit.
or, instead of being like the squirrels out there collecting their nuts. we become the nuts! ;)
but i wanted to take a little time to record about our sweet reesey turning two!
hard to believe that two years have passed so quickly.
and then again. there are days i feel they can’t pass soon enough.
when i look at my oldest though, who turns 15 next week, i tell myself, oh, they will!
and that helps me slow down a bit more. to grab a book to read to her instead of thinking that one more thing must be cleaned!
to say, i love you. and more often. to give more kisses. and longer hugs.
to not get too uptight over not being as free to run and do all the things mommy’s who don’t have little ones still at home can do.
to not lose my temper over things that don’t deserve draining my energy..
like finding her just a bit ago, before nap time, sitting on the floor in the hall, sticking her finger into her dirty diaper and wiping it all over the carpet!
and yes! one more thing to do before i could sit and write my blog post. ;)
but. sitting days will come.
and the day when she’ll poop in a real toilet. and wipe her own bum.
these tired legs from chasing younger, faster ones will one day move alot slower.
and then. then i’ll sit and write blog after blog about missing these days. when those days finally come.
but missing them. and missing out on them are two different things. and i want to not live wishing them away..
only to realize when it’s too late, i never really lived them!
our reese is by far the most strong willed of the kids.
though.. actually, i probably said that about each of them at one point.
but she’s certainly the most independent.
never met a stranger. loves saying hi to everyone. will pretty much go to anyone.
she likes to high five. and give big hugs.
she likes taking walks and holding books upside down while she pretends to read.
she calls benny, “buddy”. and her most favorite thing to eat is any kind of fruit.
when i put her to bed she holds up her little hand and says, “pay, mommy.”
and at the end always smiles with a, “men.”
and each time, how my heart echoes another prayer, that she’ll come to know the God we’re praying to. ~
the day of her birthday i put on my facebook~
“thinking today about another day, when i laid on a table in a doctor’s office and was told my little baby was gone!
BUT GOD had another story.. and today that precious life turns TWO!! happy birthday Reesey~ ♥”
and most of you know that story. if you don’t you can read about it here.
and it seems i’m always saying the same thing each year on her birthday..
though i think about it much more often than just that.
but, to me, it’s more than just part of her life. it IS her life. but God had another story…
and it’s my heart cry for her, that this will always be her theme.
that no matter what may ever happen. when things seem darkest and without hope.
when she is hurting and misunderstood. when she doesn’t understand herself.
when she doubts all she was raised to believe. when she doubts His love.
when those days come when it’s hard just to put one foot in front of the other.
when the endings might not go as she had planned. or thought they would.
when maybe, babies do die. and marriages break apart. when people disappoint. and jobs are lost.
when money is tight and everything crumbling…
in it all. may she always know, “but God had another story.”
and may she cling to Him. and find the richness of His mercy. the rest of His Sovereignty.
and the confidence that everything that touches the pages of our lives, are written in His love.
and i just feel compelled to whisper out that encouragement to you as well, there on the other side of this computer screen.
with whatever you’re facing right now remember the, “but God” part. :)
Never underestimate my Jesus.
When the world around you crumbles, He will be strong, He will be strong!” -summer fitter
happy, happy birthday to our dear Megan Reese!
two years of teaching me more of His faithfulness~
love you so much.