Monday August 27, 2012

{for the rainy days}

i woke to rain and wondered why it always seemed to rain on days i have to tell my family goodbye!

kate went with them.
i watched her crammed in the back seat between nate and danny, smiling out at me.
she was so excited.
i smiled back.
knowing that this time i didn’t just feel a part of me was going with them, a part really was!

the other kids and i came home to a quiet house.
extra quiet with daddy gone for the week too and after all the cozy crowdedness and noise this place has seen this past week.

now, ben and emma have run off somewhere in the neighborhood to play with friends.
baby is sleeping.
i gathered all the sheets. the towels..
as i was sorting the piles i looked up and saw the sun peeking out from behind the clouds.
it’s brightness warming more than the chill in the air.

i put in a load and folded another, thinking to myself how often life can feel like a rainy day.
dark. gloomy. just blah. maybe even a blinding downpour. a scary storm.
but no matter what. the sun always comes out again.
the clouds part. the darkness passes. things are clear once more!

my dad said to me the other night when we were talking about some hard things in life,
this side of eternity is nothing like the other.
there’s something so much more than just now.
just our trial. just our sorrow. just our loneliness.
nothing is wasted or for no reason.
God is forever on His throne. never once stepping off.
it doesn’t matter if we don’t feel that way. the truth of it still remains!
just like the sun, though hidden from our eyes at times, it doesn’t change it’s existence.

pieces~ 055
pieces~ 050
pieces~ 047

driving home from the beach yesterday we had the christian radio station on..
a beautiful instrumental version of, “blessed be your name,” began playing and my brothers and i started singing along to it.

when the chorus came i looked in the rear mirror and saw them and my kids singing away.
my eye caught my mom, quietly brushing tears from her cheeks. and suddenly my voice cracked and faded off.
i knew what she was feeling. i felt it too.
no matter how hard things might hurt there is peace in resting in His control~

and the tears burned at the corners of my eyes as i tried to join back in, with,
Every blessing You pour out
I’ll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name…

those words, “still i will say.”
YES! still.
because, and i’ve probably written it here a hundred times,
but i’ll make it a hundred and one, because i need to hear it again..
peace is not a place, it’s a Person.

and we know that Person.
and most of all – He knows us!!

and because of that, “still i will say…”

pieces~ 0588

22 thoughts on “Monday August 27, 2012

  1. inanorchard

    I love that song, I love those moments the Lord gives us… those moments of perfect peace and joy. Such sweet pictures Amber! I wish for your sake that the goodbyes would get a little easier but I know how close your family is to you, that is the flip side of the coin.

    A rainy day sounds perfect to me… they are so few and far between this time of the year. A good rain to wash the dust away. Enjoy your week Amber!

  2. Blessingsofabigfamily

    So happy you had a good visit with your family.  What a beautiful moment with everyone singing praise to our Lord!  I love that song and the peace it brings.  Blessings!!! P.S. The pictures are so precious with Emma and your dad!  Happy Monday, friend!

  3. melissajoy77

    Oh, Amber. I know these thoughts and feelings all too well. What a gorgeous version of “Blessed be your name”. Thanks for sharing your heart today… The tears are welling up in my eyes. I must have needed to be reminded of this.

  4. Richgem

    As I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster (up in the clouds, going through a fog, down through sunshine and further down into a pit), I’ve known in my spirit that I STILL bless his name, STILL accept his love, STILL hope for and believe in what’s on the other side. I tell myself, “it could be worse. WAY worse. It’s just hard for ME, being in this spot.” But none of it takes away from my belief in Jesus and my desire to be what he wants me to be. YOU’RE a blessing!

  5. baileyandme

    sorry about the blahs… they are stinky. :(
    such pretty pics… i love that stripey blouse and the side french braid. my elle has a blouse (shirt whatever) kinda like that and when she wears it- is when i think her the prettiest. ha
    you are loved today by me! jenny

  6. pettybunch

    “…it doesn’t matter if we don’t feel that way. the truth of it still remains!” I love that, because feelings seem to play such a big role in some folks’ faith, and I love that MY feelings don’t change HIS truth! 

    I love the picture in my mind of you all singing together.  Our family does that.  And I felt the tears of your Mom as I read your words. 

  7. H0LDfast

    how have i missed you last few posts ….
    i don’t know either.
    liz said it very well – i love all the encouraging things you say here – they really are, thanks.
    happy sheet & towel folding.

  8. wj3km

    But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more. – Ps. 71:14

    I was just reading last night about the importance and effects of praise to God – a heart of thanksgiving = a mouth filled with praise n worship which helps us lift our eyes up and above our circumstances. Yes, the clouds to give way to sunshine again :)

    When do you all start school if Kate was able to go along home with your family?? I’m sure she’ll have such a wonderful time! :) Will be praying for you – have an enjoyable, blessed week

  9. fruitloops115

    ‘this side of eternity is nothing like the other’. That gives me shivers. bring it
    enough with these hard things already. this week is one of those for us-so much hard questions going on and hoping for better things for some people we love.
    love the song too. kinda one of those songs that was dear to me when we lost Eli, and then waiting to get pg again, it popped up at various times just when I needed to hear it.

  10. DawneElla

    Blessed be the Name! The fact that there was three generations, sitting in that car, singing that song…what a blessing that is! That would bring tears to my eyes for sure! Blessed be the Name!

  11. grace_to_be

    @inanorchard – i do think the goodbyes have gotten easier.. i only cry about half a day now and feel all sad and blue! that’s a big improvement than when we first moved and it taking me a week to get over!! ;) thanks for your sweetness friend~

  12. lwstutz

    love that song too. recently it hit me that the song says ‘He gives’ instead of just ‘He takes away’. Yes, we gotta praise Him in the storm, but He delights in GIVING us things too. Family times are special, probably extra special after your mom’s little episode with her health!

  13. singingrachel

    i got all choked up… hate the pain and sadness you feel, but get this warm fuzzy feeling inside when i think about how God comes and meets us and gives us these little snitches of himself… sometimes in the taking and sometimes in the giving. that is one of my favorite songs and takes me back to many hard but now precious memories of days gone by. thanking God with you that He is constant and that you have a sweet family and brothers to sing with. THAT is the whole pkg. love ya girl.


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