Category Archives: marriage

{the outloving pact}

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21 valentines with this guy!
i am so glad he chose me and that we get to do life together.
but let me be real..
yesterday was my birthday {which was actually monday now, since i wrote this tuesday}
and i had expectations.
which meant i ended up with some hurt feelings.
dumb, i know. how long have we been doing this thing?
haven’t we learned anything by now about our polar opposite
approaches to birthdays and christmas and parties and celebrating
and spending money??
why do we seem to forget this stuff?

and why, in moments of hurt does every loving thing i ever said or felt
about this man just seem to go straight out the window?
why can’t i believe the best? let go easily?
not have to make it all a great, big hairy deal!!

i want to love well.
i used to think i did.
lately, like the past few years lately..
God has been opening my eyes up big time to the hypocrisy in my heart.

sure, i love well. when i am loved well in return.
who doesn’t?
that kind of love is easy.
but love through pain or disappointment?
i can hope and endure all things..
as long as all things are going my way!!!

and right now i’m just talking about some stupid expectations over a birthday.
but we all have marks upon our lives. upon our marriages.
that have come from much bigger things than birthdays.
and whether big or small, when we’re hurt the natural response is to pull away.
to have an attitude of, “i’ll show you.”
but in the end. show you what?
show you how childish i can be? how immature?
that i can go longer than you without talking?
that i can be mean? selfish?
pulling back and shutting down gets us nowhere.
it only hurts us in the end.
but it’s hard when that’s how we FEEL!
and i’m a big feelings girl. i’ve got em all.

but God’s been breaking this down for me in the last few years
and showing me a thing or two about love and feelings and how no,
they’re not exactly the same thing!

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everyone says, “love is a choice.”
this is true.
but as a child of God He goes even further –
it’s a command.
we don’t get to decide if someone is worthy of our love.
we don’t get to decide if, when, how we will show love.
we are simply, to love!

why? because that person deserves it?
because we’re a doormat?
because love means letting people get away with whatever they want?
absolutely not.

shayne and i talked about my birthday and my feelings about it all..
over our valentines lunch the next day.
because what better conversation to have on valentines day than,
“hey babe.. you screwed up!” ha!
not really.
but also, we have the kind of relationship that doesn’t like anything between us.
we do talk things out.
we try to see from the other’s perspective.
we don’t always do a good job of this.
sometimes it gets pretty messy.
kind of animated and dramatic {that’s me, not him}.
we’re still learning to deal with conflict in a healthy non-divisive way with one another.
but through it all… even during the conflict that sometimes,
sometimes can take days before we fully get sorted out.
and then there’s the whole warming back up thing. {am i right?}

.. but even in the yuck parts, i still must love.
not in the habitual, we say it so much it’s lost it’s meaning, “i love you,” kind of way.
but in the, “love is patient. love is kind. is not easily angered. doesn’t seek it’s own,
Bible truth, child of God kind of way!!!!”
i don’t know about you.
maybe that kind of love comes naturally to you.
for me, it doesn’t.
especially when there’s been hurt. and during conflict.
but this is what sets Christ-like love apart from any other..
that when we were most undeserving, He loved us.
not when we had performed well. done our best.
no. at our lowest.

this is His kind of love and if we belong to Him it’s supposed to be our kind of love too.

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it’s what the scriptures say – how the world can tell us apart.
i always find that fascinating that there could be a whole slew
of things listed for people to say,
“yep. christian.”
but instead it says rather simply, “this is how everyone will know you’re mine,
by your love for each other!”

and what better place to practice and see this than in our marriage!

at one point this past summer God seemed to really light up 1 John to me,
where it talks about if you hate someone, you don’t/ can’t belong to Him.
what?
when i’m harboring bitterness?
when i don’t forgive?
when i don’t let go?
when i don’t stop judging what they need to be doing,
and start examining my own heart?
any level of hate towards someone else indicates that the Father is not in me?
crazy, sobering thought!!

because when the love of God is IN us.. it’s what comes OUT of us!

there’s no stopping it.
when we truly realize what He’s done for us.
we want to take that same grace, that same mercy, and love and give it out to others.
and if we truly grasp this truth –
it doesn’t just apply to those we think are worthy.
but especially those we think are not!
the ones less “worthy” in my eyes, for whatever reason.
that i feel i have the right to stand back from. love everyone but them.
say it’s not “healthy” for me.

oh, don’t get me wrong. there’s people we need to keep distance from –
though probably not the ones we tend to think.
{look at Jesus’ social crowd.. i’m sure it wouldn’t pass most church goers approval list.}
but, yes. i have friends that have had to get out of their marriage because it wasn’t safe.
friends that have been abused by spouses. parents. pastors.
those you should be able to trust most.
and in no way, shape, or form does forgiving your offender and showing love to them
mean you have to go take them to lunch.
with some people it is best to love from afar. we all get that.

but i’m talking about the epidemic in christian circles that excuses hateful,
nothing-to-do-with-Christ-at-all behavior, all in the name of “healthy boundaries.”
do you know what i’m talking about?
beth moore, when i saw her in toronto last year, said,
“we as Chrisitans have “healthy boundardried” our way right into
direct opposition as Jesus teaches us to live.” {roof off. walls down}

and since love is empowered by our actions,
how we love will look different to different people.
that’s okay. that’s a good thing.
how boring if we all loved in the same way, as my husband and i keep rediscovering! ha.
but there IS a universal list that is written out for us in God’s Word.
{first corinthians 13}
and reading through that shuts up any spiritual sounding mumbo jumbo in a hurry.
all excuses fall flat and finger pointing turns around fast.
it always comes back to us.
what’s in our heart is revealed by how we treat those around us!! {ouch!}
am i keeping no record of wrong? am i rejoicing in truth?

more often than not, i don’t love that way.
and if i’ve been hurt, i don’t WANT to love that way!
my love is so conditional.
it depends on the other person.
how they’re treating me.

i remember once when shayne and i had a fight and i was so upset.
i felt so right in my cause. so justified.
and then God said, “what if he never changes in this area?”

what?
huh?
come again, God?

and i’ll never forget His response to my heart,
“amber, what i require for you doesn’t change, even if the other person never does!”

i really had nothing to that.
except a whiney, childish, “man, that’s so unfair!”

but whether to my spouse. my kids. my community of friends.
those in my church. those different from me in society.
those who’ve hurt me. and yes, most especially those..
if the love of God is not the filter for my behavior to them,
then as His Word says, i’m nothing but a lot of noise!

and if i’m going to be heard.
let it be for what promotes His kingdom.
and if you’re unsure at times what exactly that is,
He set it up Himself when He said,
“these are greatest of all the commandments –
love God. love others.
not suggestions. commands.

love.

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there’s already a group throwing their hands up, like, hold on a minute..
we can’t excuse sin.
nope. we sure can’t.
but first, let’s flip the microscope inward. to our own hearts.
and if we’re going to err – wouldn’t you rather err on the side of love vs. judgment.
i know i sure would!

i don’t think i’ve said anything different today that you haven’t already heard before..
and i feel like a broken record here on my blog most of the time anyway.
the subject of love is the most popular one to talk about these days, it seems.
and if you disagree with anyone, you’re not loving.
or try to have discernment, you’re judging. blah blah blah..
and it goes round and round until it gets so exhausting!!! anyone?
seriously. we’re going to sit around discussing for hours whether
or not we should welcome refugees when we could just go find some
and love them in Jesus name!!! {amen!}
we waste so much time TALKING about what Christians should do
and so little time actually DOING!

and here i’m veering away from marriage a bit,
but it all intersects!
because this is where it really comes home for me..

see, i can easily want to love on the refugee family who’s lost everything.
or want to join the crusade against strip clubs because i feel such
compassion for the women inside.
my heart feels stirred for the lgbt community, and i think alot about what
it looks like 
to hold true to my beliefs and yet still communicate acceptance
and value to my friends there.
and if i even hear a story, or think about all the girls being victimized through
sex trafficking i’m completely undone and ready to 
find every single one and just
make her soup, and hug her, and love on her for weeks!

but ask me to love that one who’s hurt me?
that friend. or husband. or parent?
oh, no! that’s asking too much!
my pride immediately takes over and tells me every reason
i’m excused from loving them.
they don’t deserve it.
that i have to protect myself from further hurt.
and yet, this is the real test. right here.
this closest circle right around me.
it’s easy to live Christ to those far away.
being a “good Christian” is always easier from a distance.
it’s prettier. more sparkly.
but to get up close?
to those who’ve hurt me?
to those who’ll probably hurt me again?
that’s where love gets messy.
but that’s where love is needed most.
not where others always see.
where i get recognition and dozens of “likes.”
but just those quiet obediences that God is asking of me?

and if you’re like me. back in the summer when i first started really
seeing this stuff i was like, “man.. no way i can love like that!
i just don’t have it in me.”
true.
but it’s not about WHAT’S in us, but WHO!
and when we feel we can’t.
or the hurt has been too much.
we say, “God, help me!” and do it anyway!!

after our tiff the other day shayne and i made a pact with each other.
what if we were to try to out love one another for, oh, let’s say the next 30 days?
i kind of rolled my eyes at it, at first. it’s a bit corny.
out love each other? okay, then.

but… seriously though. what if?

what if we all purposed that?
to out love one another in our marriages. in our homes..
in our churches and neighborhoods and on social media?
how would things change?
how would our world look different?

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{a celebration for 20 years}

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back in the summer we had talked about what to do for our 20th.
go on a trip.
buy each other new rings.
get matching tattoos {guess whose idea that was?}

but as it got closer i told shayne i really just wanted to have a big party with friends.
a time of celebrating and “re-commitment.”
and after all our marriage has been through in recent years,
now seemed the perfect timing for that.

and we wanted this to not just be a celebration of our marriage
but ALL marriage!

i was talking to girlfriend just this morning over coffee and we were
saying how more than ever marriages are under such attack! it’s crazy.
whether your relationship is healthy or shaky – i think we all feel it.
from every angle the tide is knocking hard against one of God’s most precious designs.

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so we asked three different couples from three different seasons of life to share.
newlyweds.
middle age.
and a couple that just celebrated their 50th.

i loved it!
it was such a highlight of the night hearing and learning from other couples.
and neat to see how they all, without talking beforehand
or knowing what the others were going to say, seemed to carry the same theme –
“God must be center in your relationship!”

it sounds so cliché or even superficial…
like it’s the expected thing a christian should say.
but bottom line, love cannot thrive in selfishness.
and i don’t know about you, but dying to myself..
putting another’s needs ahead of my own is not something that comes naturally to me.
i NEED supernatural help. a strength beyond myself.
“when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to The Rock that is higher..”

and yes. in the overwhelming times of my life, my marriage,
it has been clinging to The Rock that is Jesus Christ that has sustained me.

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it was important for shayne and i too
with this whole celebration thing, to do this for our kids.
we’re very open with them.
they won’t read something like this and be shocked, like,
“what? mom and dad have had problems!”
no. they’re well aware.
“i was wrong will you forgive me?” is often on replay round here.
and we’re okay with that.

i don’t care about trying to display some perfect, put together lives for my kids.
but i do care about showing them that when we mess up.. not “if” we mess up, when!
that there is grace and redemption and new mercy to try again!

my wedding day was special.
but this night, 20 years later with my kids watching
held so much more impact for me.
they are the why that motivates so much of what i do
and i want them to see what shayne and i have and say, “i want that too!”

sometimes we assume our kids are just catching on to what we hope to communicate.
but sometimes.. sometimes you have to make sure they’re really getting it.
that they’re hearing it. especially with teens!
that’s what this night was about.
with our kids front and center, and 100 of our closest friends and family
just saying it all out loud.

“we will finish strong!”

that’s the sweetest thing about community.
this safe place we can feel totally flawed
and yet entirely accepted at the same time!

shayne and i laid in bed the morning after and said how much
we were blown away by all the people that came out.
giving up their saturday night to simply come love on us..
it’s so humbling.

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everyone who knows me knows moving to canada was not easy.
the first few.. okay, FIVE! years here were tough.
but now. six years later i can truly say this feels like home!
and it’s because of the people.
i don’t know if it’s all canadians or just mine, ha.
but the ones we’ve been privileged to meet and know
are just some of the kindest, most sincere people anywhere.

to know you have this kind of resource in your life is such a GIFT!

i love what emma said the next day as we talked about the party.
that she liked how everyone was just talking to everyone.
even people that didn’t really know each other or had just met.
yeah. our group is inclusive!
we’re building a bigger table, so COME ON OVER!!

we ended the little ceremony part of the night in a time of prayer.
with the families of our small group gathered round.
these are the ones who have walked step for step and kept pace with us
during some of the hardest trials of our lives.
they are truly family.

and then we ate dessert and danced!

i had to laugh because shayne is so NOT a dancer.
he danced one song with me.
and the rest of the time it was basically me and my girlfriends and kids.
but i love the contentment i felt.
the freedom to be completely me in our marriage.
he talked and visited with everyone. which is what he likes doing.
and i danced and ate cake. which is what i like doing. {smile}

there was no expectations –
which would have been there earlier on in our marriage.
to feel we needed to be doing what the other was doing..
or what we THOUGHT the other thought we should be doing!
expectations ruin everything, don’t they.

but the whole room seemed to hold such a total atmosphere of joy!

which i think is what happens when judgement {and expectation} is set aside
and we love with no conditions in true freedom.~
such a beautiful thing.

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i used to {and i say “used to” lightly because i’m still working on it}
get so hung up on how shayne was loving me instead of first, taking care of my heart..
what i was doing to love him.
amazing the spirit, for good and for bad,
we can cultivate in our relationships and homes by simply switching our focus!

last year for our 19th i wrote a blog post, “19 things for 19 years.”
and i thought of writing 20 things for 20 but really..
i kinda feel it can basically be summed up in 3.

1.forgive forgive forgive forgive.
2.see from the other’s perspective.
3.and be the first to the cross.

that’s it.

when i live by those guidelines i have a much happier marriage.

and sure, our marriage still has {lots of} work to do.
we’re not where we want to be.
but praise God, we’re sure as heck not where we were!

earlier this year when we were in counseling one afternoon.
the counsellor stopped at one point and said,
“look at you. look at how you’re sitting. at how you’re holding hands..
your body language. your chemistry. the spirit between you.
you are a couple so deeply in love.
i can see it.
stop for a minute and look..”

yes. that’s it.
never stop looking.
for the love that is there.
for the love that was.
for how you can strengthen it.
for how you can get back to it.
for what you need to do in your own heart.

keep working on it.
and fighting {together, not against each other}.
and rallying.
and loving.
and CELEBRATING!!!

a good marriage isn’t something you find
it’s something you make.
and you have to keep on making it.
each and every day.

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“Look, {there’s that word again!} I’m doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not see it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isa.43:19

thank you, Father for 20 grace-filled years.

amen.

 

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{surviving love}

it was eighteen years ago today i walked down the aisle and became his wife.
funny how eighteen years can seem only a few days and a lifetime all in one.~

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i laid in bed long after he left this morning.
the sound of the wind howling and fierce all around as my mind went back over the years..
of all the winds that have threatened to rip us right apart, and near did.
those times when i felt we might not make it to this point.
and then i smiled as, “but we survived,” washed across all the other thoughts swirling..

to say you’ve “survived” sounds about the most unromantic thing you could say about your marriage.
i’ve heard older couples say it and wrinkled my nose in the past. positive they must have lost sight of true love.
but. now i wonder if they didn’t know more than i gave them credit for.

maybe those who’ve made it the longest know love the truest.

surviving love.
committed. loyal. determined.

and maybe surviving love is really the most romantic love after all.
the real kind. the kind only God can give. the kind that has endured the battle. stayed.

the kind that says i’m not just fighting beside you. i’m fighting with you. for you.
we’re going to make it to the other side. and we’re going to make it together.
we might be limping. we might even be crawling. and yes, there might be times one will carry the other.
but we will get there. we will survive.

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how easily we forget or grow passive about the fact that we have an enemy of our souls that’s stops at nothing in trying to destroy our homes and marriages and lives. he never lets up. he never gets tired. and he’ll never feel he’s suddenly done enough and just leave you alone. he is constantly {constantly} seeking those he can bring down and devour and he loves nothing more than taking something that is supposed to be the very picture of Christ and his church and making a mockery of it. making it seem that God has lost His power. that maybe He’s not strong enough to change and transform lives and hold hearts together.

but i’m here to say today. that’s not true!
He does transform. and yes, and amen! He does hold us together.

these past two years have been hell for our marriage..
the hardest we have yet to face.
i’m ashamed to say the word divorce crossed both our thoughts if not our lips.
it’s what happens when focus is on self and you’re looking to someone to be your saviour other than who your Saviour truly is.
that’s what i was doing in my marriage. trying to put my husband in the position only God can fill.
but no human alive can meet the deepest needs of our heart apart from God.

we try so desperately to cram in what’s tangible. what we can see. what seems to be bringing fulfillment at the time but it’s not lasting. not solid. not the kind of stuff battles are won from and storms endured.

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you can be married to the sweetest guy in the world. i know i am!
you can be great lovers and have the hottest sex.
enjoy each other’s company and be the best of friends.
but if you’re not constantly looking and running and finding your source to love IN HIM..
when the battle intensifies, the winds increase, the burdens press in..
well, all the sweetness and sex and best friend feelings in the world cannot sustain and carry you through.

we need HIM.

our marriages need Him.

and though my marriage is not where i want it to be. i praise God it’s not where it used to be.
i hope i never feel completely content with where it’s at but always want deeper and more and closer.

and i just want to encourage anyone reading this that no matter where your marriage is at.. keep on!
if it’s good – keep fighting for better.
if it’s shaky – remember where the victory lies.

there is healing for the hells of our lives.
and there is {always} grace to be and room to become.

there is love that survives because there is a Saviour that redeems!

heart

 

*from the archives:
because sometimes you just need to replay redemption’s song.
how great is our God. sing with me, how great!

{shayne’s 40th and the night our marriage changed forever}

lying in bed the other night i asked shayne, “what makes you happy?”
“i’ll tell you what made me happy today, ” he says.
and i listen to him talk and smile into the dark..
his list isn’t typical what i think alot of men would say makes them happy.
and this is what i love most about him.

“the way reese smiles at me every time she sees me.”
“when kate and i were singing along to a song together on the radio in my truck.”
“wrestling with ben.”
“emma coming and sitting next to me on the couch and putting her head on my shoulder.”
“having people into our home…”

his list of happy is all about others.
and that sums up what he is all about as a person.

i feel this sudden need to explain he’s not feminine or weak, or even remotely metro-sexual.
that’s our society rubbing off on me and the fear of man creeping in..
not wanting to portray him soft, less a man.
but what is wrong with a man who is soft? when it’s softness towards good and right and godliness.
why do we buy into stereotypes and think ruggedness can’t combine with tenderness?
truth is when God has a hold of someone He’s molding them to be like no stereotype out there.
a new creature. fashioned in His image. mirroring His character~
we need more men not afraid to climb on the Potter’s wheel and let God make them into men that are different.

the world tells us the way to respect is through power and position.
God says, the servant is greatest.
the world says a man must take charge, show who’s boss.
God’s way is lead by example.

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i haven’t always been grateful or seen the value of the man God gave me in shayne.
especially in recent years when the “for poorer” part of our wedding vows have filled the majority of our days
and pressures of jobs and future and location have near snapped us in two by their tension.
i’m ashamed to say there have been times i wished for someone richer. someone more set in their plans.
and yet, these years living in canada..
of having nearly a whole year of wrestling with lies and what if’s and blame of my unhappiness –
of thinking divorce would solve it all and then God just bringing me to a place of complete brokenness.
were it not for these years i doubt i’d know the love i do now.

one night shayne and i had probably the worst fight of our entire married life.
it was late. the kids in bed.
we had been going round for more than an hour..
finally, as anger escalated and selfishness controlled i said, “i’m done!” and walked out. slamming the door hard behind me.
i went downstairs and started digging in the closet for my shoes and coat and tears were streaming so hard i couldn’t even see.
then i felt shayne’s hands on my back as he turned me and i fell into his arms weeping,
saying i was so wrong. please forgive me.
and he said, forgive me too.
and never underestimate, men, the power of going after your woman! we like that. need that!

and we stood in the laundry room just holding each other for a long time and then prayed and committed those words would never come out our mouths again – “i’m done!” because at the end of the day it’s not money that holds you together or fun times or great sex or a fantastic job or big house or secure future~ we chase the illusion of an “easy life” and there’s no such thing. as long as there are people there will be hurts because we’re flawed and needy and seeking something and often someone to fill our gaps.. so we look to relationships. to love. but love brings vulnerability and the potential for pain and when that happens the enemy tries to convince us the answer is to shut down, pull away, run away, build walls, think only of our own happiness – but we were made for one another. and there is no greater joy than to love and be loved.

 

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but this was the thing for me of finally realizing..
knowing, yet not really – that my source of love cannot come from myself.
if so i will end up hurt and disappointed every time.
my source of love, the kind that stays and keeps giving regardless of circumstances or what i get in return..
that kind of love must come from the Lord!
not some conjured up false, phony spirituality.
but an emptying of self and pride and wrong mindsets and expectations and being filled with Him.

i used to think it sounded so unromantic. loving my spouse with the love of the Lord.
i wanted hot, passionate, shades of grey kind of fire!
but i’m discovering more and more when God is at your center, the source of your love, holy moses!! you better believe there is passion and fire!!
when we love from a place of selflessness –
seeing through the eyes of the other person and not through eyes of pride and comparison and entitlement.
that kind of love is the purest and deepest and truest and most passionate of all!

who knew the scripture was actually right when it said in dying to ourselves is how we discover true life.
and in losing ourselves we truly find who we were meant to be..

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the next day after that turning point night in our marriage i realized in our room when i had slammed the door it had knocked the picture off the wall, hitting three vases that sat on the dresser underneath. the vases were from the dollar section at target i had picked up several years ago, short, white, with black lettering across the front. one said LOVE. one said LAUGH. and the other, LIVE.

picking up the picture i saw that two of the vases sat unmoved and untouched, which was odd because the other, that was sitting between them actually had been knocked to the ground and broken. as i got down on my knees and began picking up the pieces i suddenly realized which vase it was. the one which said, LIVE. and i thought there couldn’t be a more perfect visual than right there in my hands of what God had done in my heart. and that the only way to find the life i longed to LIVE was through brokenness.

i still have those pieces. tucked away in my dresser drawer.
someday i want to put them in a shadow box and hang as a reminder of what must happen in order to find real love!

and i was thinking last night as i wrote in shayne’s birthday card how hard these few years have been..
and yet, i find myself so, so grateful for them.
grateful for my husband in this kind of deep way that is so beyond just liking someone and being glad they’re with you.
no. when you’ve ENDURED together.
almost quit TOGETHER.
screamed. yelled. cried. fallen in a heap. prayed TOGETHER!!
this is the kind of comradery born only out of war!
and we all better believe we’re at war for our marriages.
to be aware. intentional. active. watchful.

and the battle always starts in the mind..
so even if you feel you’re doing good by not letting your emotions show or temper flare –
it’s the thoughts that shape our actions and why we need to continually, daily, be renewing our mind with the truth of His word!

this might seem like a weird post to write for my husband’s birthday. that’s okay. :)
i’m past feeling everyone has to understand or the need to explain myself.
and really, there’s nothing to explain or try to make lighter or hide..
this has been our life and it hasn’t always been easy,
but i’m glad i can stand in this place and declare loud and clear for all the world to hear –
i wouldn’t want to be doing this with anyone else other than this man who was born on this day!!!!

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i am blessed beyond what i deserve.
i am grateful.
i learn from his humility, from his kindness.
and i’m excited about what God has done and is doing in our hearts.

He is writing a story so much bigger than just us.
and i’m glad i get to be on this journey of learning with the one i have grown to call, the love of my life.

happy birthday to my husband that never quits
pursuing God.
pursuing me.
pursuing the hearts of our children.
pursuing truth.

love that man!

{sixteen years of together}

we celebrated our sixteenth anniversary yesterday!

so amazing to stop and look back on all God has done..
every single step of the way.
right up to even this very morning when we argued and then.
once again learned that grace always triumphs when we look beyond ourselves to Him.

i really am in awe at the change in our relationship even from six months ago.
God has repaired and healed and fused our hearts together as i feel they used to be in the good ole days!
where i once again feel that sweet closeness and friendship and love. happiest when with him.

there’s lots of verses and songs i’ve called “ours” along the way..
but when i think of our marriage right now i think of this verse. and this song!

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i’d say alot has changed in sixteen years.
like the fact that i’m 20 pounds heavier for him to hold like in these pictures!!
and that maybe the place we thought we’d be at by now as far as finances or stability or dreams isn’t that.
the expectations are different. and many of our beliefs.

but some things haven’t changed.
like the fact that we’re committed to this thing. in it together. wanting deeper. stronger. more!
to not just have a marriage we tolerate, but ever working to create a marriage we enjoy.
and knowing, even more so now than i did on that day sixteen years ago, that only happens one way..
as we continue to look to The One who brought us together to begin with.
who has kept us together.
and holds us together through it all.

thank you Father for the journey of these sixteen years!

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amber.