a few weeks back one of the young moms in my bible study group was
saying how she was no martha stewart…

“homemade playdough – fail.”
“homemade bread – fail.”
“cute craft – fail.”

and haven’t we all so been there!

when the doubts creep in and we feel we’re not measuring up.
that somehow we’re not enough or doing well.

and i’m not sure who actually makes up the list of expectations we feel.
some from within, i’m sure.
a lot from without.

every mom generation has had its struggles, no doubt
but maybe not to the intensity we can feel these things now.
the highlight of everyone’s life right at our finger tips.

being a mom is exhausting enough.
however when our souls run exhausted from feelings of inadequacy
that’s an exhaustion that goes right through and we never feel rested.

and though it might appear from some of our social media feed that we’re the
only woman in the world not home educating. raising gap model looking kids.
keeping chickens. or making anthropologie envy clothes. trust me..
even those have their struggles, because everyone does, and there’s no such thing as “doing it all.”

i’m not sure God intended us to do every.single.part of womanhood.
not all of us can sew and decorate and craft and bake.
not everyone is a great teacher or has a green thumb.
but there ARE parts we can do and those are the ones we must discover and embrace.

we spend far too much worrying over all we DON’T DO-
we need to start seeing all we DO.
the parts we’re getting right!

i used to feel so guilty that i wasn’t more of a playing mom.
i’ve never been one who could sit for mind-blowing minutes pushing match box
cars around the floor or dressing polly pockets fifty million times.

but design a resort for polly and her friends. i’m all over it!
or a cool dirt track outside for match box cars, i’m there!

when the girls wanted to build a dollhouse, we turned the closet in the basement
into one instead. and on sunday when emma wanted me to play with her after i’d
just gotten home from a late morning meeting and i was tired and hungry, we came
up with playing restaurant where i was the customer who sat at the table while she
made my food.

she thought it was great she had free reign in the kitchen and she beamed over
the 5 dollar tip!!

so i do play with my kids.
only i’ve learned to play with them in the ways i enjoy..
the part i do well.
they love it and a huge reason being they can tell i’m loving it too.
truly engaged and into it, not just punching a clock.

there’s something about knowing who we are and being okay with that that brings
a calm and peace – not only into our hearts but our homes as well.

i don’t do the crafting mom well either. or the baking mom.
and i wasn’t the greatest homeschooling mom..
which was hard for me to admit for awhile.
that somehow i wasn’t supermom enough or strong enough spiritually.
but that’s been one of the best decision for our family.
such a weight lifted of carrying a conviction not our own.

and now i’ve been able to spend the money i was putting away in that jar for therapy i knew they’d need someday from me being their teacher on other things!! ;))

and that’s not to say God is never going to call us to do things we don’t want.
or that we feel ill-equipped in.
He kinda does that all the time.
but that’s why the most important part of all is to make sure we’re walking in obedience to Him.

i believe He calls us to different paths on purpose..
mostly to teach us to rely on Him above those around us.
to look and listen to His voice first and foremost despite what others are saying or doing.

we need to remember He’s the one that’s given us these kiddos.
and when He created us He created us with them in mind.
we are the moms they need.

so stop focusing on all you CAN’T DO.
focus on all you ARE. the parts you can.

besides.. homemade bread is over rated and store bought playdough works just fine.
and from what i hear our kids wouldn’t want martha stewart as their mom anyway.

we’re in this together.

xo.

the other night when i was out at a fancy place..
desperately needing some lipstick and realizing i had forgotten mine at home.
i began digging in my bottomless, mary poppins bag. sure i’d find something that could work!
baby powder. crayons {that was a possibility}. candy wrappers. little drawings on church bulletins.
then, finally.. there in the furthest corner under piles of dirty kleenex and starbucks napkins-
a tiny bright blue tube of dora the explorer lip gloss! perfect.

so in the crowded bathroom of about half a dozen other women waiting or already primping in front of the mirror
i tried to act as nonchalant and natural about it as i could..
leaning in close and smearing the blueberry tasting stickiness on my lips.
the lady next to me, putting the lid back on her shiny gold tube of expensive looking fire engine red, looked over and laughed.

“you know you’re a mom when…”

and i laughed back.
oh, so true.

you know you’re a mom when lancome has been replaced with dora the explorer!
and when you have more kids stuff in your purse than grown up stuff.
or that time the training underwear fell out with your wallet in american eagle.
the young college age guy just looking up at you with this weird look

and you know you’re a mom when college age kids look like they’re only about 10.

when your coffee’s always cold {i have a cup next to me now!}
when you forget what sleep is.
and yoga pants replace designer jeans.

when buying new soccer cleats take precedent over touching up your dark roots.
and listening to new readers sound out endless chapters finds you humming holy holy holy over in your mind.
when you drive a mini van.
that you never seem to get out of.
and somehow it always smells like mcdonald’s fries.
and there’s sweet and sour sauce spilled and hardened on the floor, but no one knows how it happened. {hmmmm….}

you know you’re a mom when going to the grocery store alone is exciting to you.
when watching them take their foul shots at the basketball game makes your heart stop.
when you find yourself staring at them across the room wondering when they got so big.
when old pictures make you teary eyed.
and teenagers make you feel old.

when sleepless nights of pacing with a fussy baby turn to sleepless nights of praying for a wayward heart.
when you forgo a shower just to lay in bed and snuggle with them a bit longer.
when you hear someone in the store call out, “mom?” and you look around to answer.
when a baby makes your heart burst.
and a teenage son makes you crazy.

when you think that little one will never learn to walk.
and when you watch them walk into high school and wonder when exactly they did.

when the days can seem so long.
but suddenly, the years left are so short.
18 summers.
and here we are at 2 maybe 3 only left with the first ones.

when you feel so proud one minute.
so humbled the next.
when you carry their hurts as if they were your own.
when cleaning up throw up and poop no longer bothers you.
and you’re forever baffled by how in the world pee got THERE!!

when you sit at the dinner table just smiling as you listen.
when you watch them sleep at night.
when you see them struggling. know you can’t rescue.
when you realize there’s no such thing as a super mom -
only one great big super God.

yeah. you know you’re a mom when …
you forever have your heart walking around outside your body!
and it’s tragic and triumphant. and messy and magical. and sacred and spectacular.
and always – so very fiercely worthwhile!

>>>><<<<

this coming weekend is mother’s day -
so we’re going to make it all about mom’s this week on the blog!

i love moms.
love mine.
love being one.
love this community.
the comradery.

so join me in the celebration.

yay moms!!
yay YOU!!

happy monday, friends.

xo

what would you add to the list.
you know you’re a mom when……
would love to hear.

p.s. stay tuned for a fun giveaway from the vintage chalk shop this week ~ gonna be good!!!